Maximus Decimus Meridius passed away at 4 a.m. on Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014.

We spent 12 years together. He was there when I broke up with my first boyfriend and there when I broke up with my last. He was there when I moved into my house and when I sold it. We traveled across the country and back for massage school.

Every morning while putting on makeup I still look over at my bed, expecting to see him sleeping in my spot. I still hear a faint snort from the other room when I’m in the bathtub. At the restaurant, I start to put meat scraps in a baggie to take home for him. The seat in my car is still back all the way so he has room to sit on my lap and there’s still dog snot on my window. I get in my car after work and have to remember that I don’t need to go pick him up on my way home.

I really debated not saying anything to “the internet”–I really didn’t want memorials or pictures or candles or Rainbow Bridge parades or anything of the sort. Maximus was mine and I didn’t want to share any part of him in this most private of times. But over the years we’ve made many friends, some of whom send us cards, gifts, prayers, etc. and so I felt those friends needed to know.

For the last twelve years, I haven’t slept through the night because he’d wake me, needing a drink or to go outside or maybe his snoring was just too loud. Yet now, I can’t sleep because he’s not there.


3 thoughts on “Maximus

  1. I won’t give you any rainbow bridges (since it seems that’s the opposite of what you’re looking for). I’ll just say that I have a 17 year-old cat, and I’m dreading the day she goes. I’ve lost pets before, but I’m sure I’ll be, you know, sobbing on the floor and pretty much unable to function for who knows how long after it happens — after all, she’s been with me almost half my life. So, I get it (well, as much as other people can get one’s own grief, I guess).

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