How Many Times…

…must I keep asking: “What the hell is wrong with people?”

Even though today is Sunday, I was excited about going to work. My clients today were kids and kids are usually a lot of fun to work on. I had an eight-year-old boy and his twelve-year-old sister scheduled.

From the moment they walked through my door (the sister brought a friend) it was mayhem. I handed the forms to the mom to fill out and her kids were already sticking their grubby hands in my diffuser water, touching my crystals and rattling them around, and then got the great idea to drop some of my rose quartz crystals INTO my misting diffuser. The mom was oblivious, filling out the forms.

The boy went first. His mom came in the therapy room with us, which isn’t unusual. For legal reasons, I tend to prefer the parent in the room, supervising. However, that meant that the sister and her friend were unsupervised in my office. Clacking my crystals. Walking around. Getting footprints on my yoga mat. I heard a beep and said, “Someone is on my treadmill and they need to not be.” So the mom got up from her texting and went to tell them to sit down. I apologized to my little client and told him I understood it wasn’t very relaxing for him with all the noise out there. Not to mention massage is as much energy-based as it is physical touching. I tried my best to give a relaxing massage but I was wound so tight I know it wasn’t the massage I wanted to give.

The girls stayed seated for all of about two seconds. The mom, too busy texting. Then I heard the signature sound of someone striking one of my crystals bowls. My hundreds-of-dollars-worth crystal bowls. I was pissed and said, “They need to get away from those bowls NOW.”

The mom again went out and told them to sit down or go out in the car. I think that lasted a few minutes. By that time, the little boy’s session was over.

Now it was time for the sister. The sister who was noisy and trying to break everything in my office. She was kind of pouty and I should have said I wouldn’t work on her. I was mad, she was mad, it was just a bad situation all around. I’ve had kids nervous about getting massage for the first time, but they never act so tortured. I tried kind of clearing myself, resolved to give a good massage; after all, I was as mad at the mom for being an incompetent parent as I was at the girl for being an inconsiderate brat. (For those of you wondering, my little dude client went to wait in the car; he mentioned during his massage his dogs were in there and I think he was concerned about leaving them alone.) I’ve had many tense clients, who once they realize they are tense, relax. I’ve never had a client “fight me.” I lifted her arm to work her triceps and she resisted. I could see her muscles flex. I couldn’t help but smile because the whole thing was so stupid. Her entire body was tense, hunched up, and every time I tried moving a joint, she outright resisted.

I do children at a discount because I believe massage is important and, like I said before, they’re usually a blast to work with. The mom paid me–no tip, but that’s neither here nor there–and they left without saying much. I think the mom was still busy with her texting.

I have no proof of this, but I think today’s session actually cost me money. I leave my purse under my desk and when I went to put some money (from something unrelated) into my wallet, I counted my 20s. I think I’m missing one or two.


5 thoughts on “How Many Times…

  1. Uhg!!! That is totally NOT relaxing for you and it can’t be beneficial for them! When I get my massages they’re my vacations. I leave my purse, my phone, everything with my Mom who even drives me because I”m so far in la la land when I’m done. It irritates me when people are this DUMB!!! Boo stupid people.

    1. Yeah. My dog is better behaved than those kids. And my dog is not very well-behaved to start with. I just don’t get these people who let their kids run around touching/breaking other people’s stuff. I think my incredulity gave me a headache.

  2. “I just don’t get these people who let their kids run around touching/breaking other people’s stuff.”

    I think we will be outrun by them in a few years, if we are not right now!
    But, aside from the whole thing… what type of work do you do? Sorry for asking, but Im kinda confused.

    1. Oh, I’m a massage therapist. I have my own wellness center. I was also going to tell you, in regards to Hellsing, read the manga and/or watch the Ultimate OVAs, but don’t waste your time with the original anime series.

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